Fawlty Banks

Have you ever had one of those days? Well yesterday was one of those days. Before coming on Aliyah I opened a bank account in Jerusalem thinking it would be one less thing to do when we arrived. Unfortunately it did not help and we needed an account much near to where we lived. So yesterday I went to Jerusalem to try and close the bank account.

Israeli banks charge you for every little service and this dormant account was costing us money so it makes sense to close it. On arrival at the bank, I find the correct desk and approach. The following is a summary of the conversation.

“Hi do you speak English?”
“Yes”
“I would like to close my bank account”
“Ech”
“I would like to close my bank account”
“Ech”
“Do you speak English?”
“Yes”
“I WOULD LIKE TO CLOSE MY BANK ACCOUNT”

“ECH”

At this point another guy working behind the desk intervenes

“What is your problem?”
“I do not have a problem but I would like to close my bank account”
“Yes, he stupid I will help you” he says pointing to the first person I spoke with at the counter.
“I would like to close this account” He looks at the details and then responds
“Why?”
“I do not need this account any longer”
“Ok I will check with the manager” He goes off to confer with a woman at a nearby desk.

She gets up and joins us. That’s me the first guy and the second guy.

“You want to close your account”
“Yes”
“Ok I help you he stupid and he really stupid” She says pointing to the two guys who first tried to help me. She goes back to her desk and types into her computer and then comes back.

“You come back on Thursday and we help you close account. There will be a small administration fee”
“Why do I have to wait until Thursday?”
“That is day when account closing is done”
“I do not understand you can only close accounts on Thursdays this does not make any sense”
At this point another customer who I had not seen standing behind us joins the 'Team'

“They are all stupid just ask for the manager and she will sort things out”
“I thought she was the manager” I say pointing at the woman who had been trying to help me.

“Ech” “ Ech” Ech” go the three bank employees.

It was at this point I decide this is all a joke and the best thing to do is to play along.

“Well if I cannot close the account today can I take out some money?”

“Yes” All three respond

“I would like to have a bankers draft made up please to Basil Fawlty.

Thats B A S I L F A W L T Y"

“Please make it for one shekel please”

“Why do you want it for only one shekel?”


“ Because I am stupid is today Tuesday sorry I forgot I only do Bankers drafts on Thursdays after 4pm I will come back then good bye and thank you so much for all your help”

I walk out doing a funny walk and mumbling to myself Manuel.



Fawlty Towers link below for those who have not seen this cult show

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GL0RVqvxidA&feature=related



This bank is a work of fiction and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.